这年头,有些人还在吃着狗粮,有些人的娃都打酱油了……
对于准备生娃的妹纸们来说,要面对的困难和恐惧可不是一点半点。
除了早期的妊娠反应、肚子越来越大后的行动不便、生产时的风险与钻心剧痛、坐月子的心烦意乱、带娃的苦恼纠结等等等等之外……
还有非常扎心的一件事:身材走形。
不懂得心疼女生的人可能会说,“身材走形”算什么困难和恐惧?带娃很累倒是不假,但肚子上多点儿肉不也很正常吗?有什么好矫情的!
好吧……如果你不能明白身材对于女性的意义,尤其是在她经历过生娃前后身体发生翻天覆地的变化之后会有多难过……
那么……下面这个姑娘的故事,你可以好好看一看。
这个漂亮的妹纸名叫多琳(Doreen), 马来西亚人。今年只有23岁。
虽然年纪不大,但多琳已经是一枚辣妈了——更厉害的是,早在两年前多琳还只有21岁时,她一口气产下了个四胞胎!
年轻貌美的辣妈和4个可爱的宝宝,这样的生活还是让很多人羡慕的~
然而最近,多琳却在网上晒了一张自己身体的照片,把“年轻貌美”的光环抛在了一边。
这是一张她腹部的照片……
很明显的,上面布满了生产之后留下的妊娠纹。密密麻麻,看上去有些渗人。
一个23岁的美丽姑娘,竟然有着这样一具皱纹密布的身体。这样强烈的反差让人震惊,无法想象年轻的多琳会怎么面对自己充满褶皱的腹部。
而更让她苦恼的是,在发了这张照片之后,有一些人留言骂她,说她的肚子“真恶心”……
After having quadruplets, 23-year-old Doreen Ching from Malaysia has decided to share private photos of the impact that giving birth had on her body. Coming to terms with the changes, Doreen hoped this would empower women who are going through the same thing. Among the voices of support, however, there were some shouts of hate thatdescribed her as ‘ugly’ and ‘disgusting.’→一些人嚷嚷着,说她非常“丑”“令人恶心”
“Only 21 at the time,I wondered how I would be able to accept my stomach looking like this for the rest of my life.The first thing I did when I got out of the delivery room was to look at my stomach and my tears came out.I was cracked up to a very serious kind of rupture and skin tissue was damaged.”→ “生孩子时我才21岁,都不知道怎样用一生的时光去接受这样的肚子。生完孩子的第一件事,就是去看我的肚子,眼泪刷拉就下来了……肚子皱巴巴的,皮肤组织全破坏了,我整个人都要崩溃了……”
▲Trolls Tell 23-Year-Old Mom Her ‘Disgusting’ Stretch Marks Make Them Want To Vomit, But She Had The Best Response (via Boredpanda)
肚子的照片发了出来,被许多人谩骂为“恶心”“丑陋”后,无疑又在这个年轻麻麻的心上插了几刀。
多琳难过地写道:
“I see a lot of people commenting calling me ‘ugly’ and it makes me very sick so much so I want to throw up,” the mom wrote in a follow-up post. “Some men said it was all the woman’s fault for wanting to have so many kids. Do you have any respect for the women of the world? Your mother? Your wife? And a woman who can afford to have children?”
“看到很多人评论说我(的肚子)‘丑’,这让我难受得简直想吐……”“一些男人讥讽说,‘谁叫你要生这么多孩子啊?活该。’难道你对这世界上的女性都没有半点敬意吗??比如你的母亲?你的妻子??或者一个能承受痛苦、生育这么多孩子的女人???”
生育一个孩子,就已经足够不易了。
很难想象年仅21岁的多琳,是如何用她那娇小的身躯,同时孕育了4个孩子……
好在,除了少部分冷嘲热讽的人外,大多数网友还是对多琳的付出和勇气表达的赞赏:
▲“总有一天,皱纹会布满你整个身体,青春美丽也会自脸庞消逝。但你的孩子们会永远爱你、照顾你,和他们的爱与陪伴相比,这些妊娠纹的付出都不算什么了。为成为他们的母亲而骄傲吧~一切都是值得的!你依然如此的美丽~”
▲“你生了四个孩子,你很漂亮。家人们爱你,是因为你就是你。你不需要去取悦整个世界,而那些喜欢‘身体羞辱’(指嘲笑别人胖、身形有缺陷等)的人通常是自己有问题。更何况,我们每个人都会变老,而美丽是相对的——不同的人生阶段,美丽的定义也会不同啊。”
▲“你是个特别甜特别可爱的姑娘~是4个漂亮宝宝的麻麻呢!别让任何人因为你的妊娠纹而令你难过了——爱上这些皱纹吧!它们会让你更美丽、更独特!这是值得骄傲的!”
▲“这是一次生产留下的妊娠纹,还是好几次留下的呢?我生过6个孩子,肚子上也有非常难看的皱纹。但是,别人任何人说你丑或者恶心。成为母亲,是件非常美好的事,不要被这些皱纹和伤痕所击倒——它们是将新生命带来这个世界的见证啊!我和你一样,有非常可爱的宝宝们,所以我确信,这些伤痕都是值得的 ❤”
看着这些暖心的留言,相信多琳的心情也会好起来,越来越自信、越来越喜欢自己的身体
女人在生完孩子后,很可能会出现妊娠纹等等,让原本光滑的皮肤布满褶皱,让平坦的腹部变得松弛。
但大多数女性——出于羞愧,亦或是无私的爱与奉献——很少会把这些本来最令女人痛苦的变化说出来。她们选择了默默接受,转而把重点放在小宝宝上。
我们看到过周围很多女性朋友晒可爱的娃,可是……又有多少人愿意“晒”自己走形的身材呢?
在Instagram上有这样一个账号:
这个账号上面分享的,都是麻麻们勇敢晒出来的肚子:妊娠纹、肥胖、走形……和她们可爱美丽的宝宝们形成鲜明的对比。
来看一下这些伟大的麻麻:
@takebackpostpartum:
"To all the women today who are mamas - you are stunning. Wear your stripes proudly.May our daughters only hear us speak positively about our bodies and how they’ve changed because we carried them.May they be raised in households where they are delighted in, celebrated, and cherished always and not based on their outward appearance. Speak life into their hearts." ❤
@takebackpostpartum:
Feeling this.“My body feels broken... everything hurts... I don’t feel like I’m bonding as easily this time around...today has gone to shit.”
@takebackpostpartum:
"Why would I post this picture?You can see all the cellulite on my fat legs. My stomach looks huge, like I am still pregnant.My ankles are so swollen they look like logs. You can see the pad in my unflattering hospital panties. I have no makeup on and my hair hasn’t been brushed in days.
@takebackpostpartum:
"This is a picture I most likely will not keep up for very long. This is me, at the peak of my postpartum depression.Looking back at this photo I remember perfectly the pain I felt, the dread in waking up every day, the physical pain that engulfed me from thoughts in my brain.This is what postpartum depression looks like, or at least what it did for me."
@takebackpostpartum:
"Well, I know a lot of you guys are probably thinking 'why would she post this picture', but,it took me 18 months to get here, 18 months to not cry when I look in the mirror, 18 months to finally feel beautiful in my own skin again!No one warns you about the dark sides of motherhood and pregnancy.. no one gives you a heads up on how much you change physically and mentally after you become a mother. It's been a long and hard postpartum ride for me..."
@takebackpostpartum:
"I may be a little softer but ultimately I am stronger and these marks just remind me of where I once tightly held and grew Emilia Ren.This body, ME, I may not be the same but if she can find so much comfort and safety in this body, I will as well."
@takebackpostpartum:
Mother Nature's artistic legacy.If it's gorgeous on her, it's gorgeous on you.
现在,有越来越多的麻麻,愿意正视自己不那么完美的产后身材,并把充满皱纹的肚子勇敢地晒出来,分享到@takebackpostpartum 等账号上。
纵使一度焦虑、自卑甚至崩溃,她们也渐渐开始正视起自己的身体,接受它,甚至以此而骄傲。
前段时间,微博上也有关于“女生怀孕前后对比照”的话题:
许多女生晒出了自己怀孕前后的对比照——纵使没有直接晒出腹部,但这样的对比,已经很让人怜惜了……
其实,身材的走样仅仅分娩后最“轻微”的后遗症了。
女性要孕育一个孩子,得经历许许多多身心上的风险与折磨,这不是一个简单的“妊娠纹”三字就能概括的。
而仅仅是这一些最简单的“对比照”,也已经在微博上引起了不少网友的感慨……
@Super_孙梦寒:瑟瑟发抖,生孩子,这辈子不可能生孩子的
@SHELLNING:想我妈了
@超模杨:记得在手术室的时候 一个21岁的年轻母亲第一胎 宝宝很漂亮 但她子宫大出血 主任急的不行 让她老公进来 说子宫得切了 她那个时候是醒着的他老公进来没有一句心疼安慰的话 冷漠的一句切嘛 就出去了哇真是心寒
@我的闹钟怎么叫不醒我-:真的害怕结婚 生小孩为什么我是女孩子
@CO姐V5:是的,我双胎,浑身都收,肚子一层皮挫着,再运动也回不去了,肌肉皮肤都撕裂了
@两颗甜柠檬:那些在女人怀孕期间的出轨男请原地爆炸。
当然,还有人趁机@女票 来撒狗粮的……
@作者_月月鸟:@木有鱼丸嘻嘻1,我不舍得让你生了,虽然这是个别例子。2,怀孕期间我会想尽一切办法了解相关知识,帮助你提前预防,之后帮助你恢复。另外,即便真的还是有影响,我依旧不会有任何不满,只会心疼,自责。无需担心。3,第一次真正的觉得,如果可以男人来生就好了…我不怕自己变成这个样子
最后,祝愿所有女性,都既有生育子女的权利,也有不生育的自由。(这句话可是妇女权益保护法里的原文)
也祝愿所有勇敢成为母亲的小仙女们,遇到真正疼惜你、爱你、令你愿意和他共同孕育小生命的人。❤